Home-Maker

"If we can recognize and cradle suffering while we breathe mindfully, there is relief already.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering

For all of us humans in a body-home, we know it is true:

our very first home was within a mother.

And her first home was within her own mother.

Do you know your mother?

The question was posted on a highway sign in Mexico.

It took my breath away for a moment.

It was the image of Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe, with a beseeching phrase underneath her image:

"Do you know your Mother?"

Do we know our mothers?

Do we know the homes of our earthly mothers from which we came?

Do we know the homes from which they came, forming them?

This is important homework.

Because our first home forms us.

We need to take inventory before assessing whether to refresh, renovate or rehabilitate.

Because the words of our first home speak to us.

We need to peel up the wallpaper to determine which words are written all over the walls of our hearts.

Because the condition of our foundation affects our formation.

We need to do the hard work to supplement areas of strength,

and the honest work of changing the areas of challenge. (Or challenging various areas to change!)

Do you know your mother?

Look deep within because our mother-homes have influenced every facet of our being.

Our food, eating and body-image.

Our minds, our words, and our self-care.

Our spirits and our spirituality.

Our relationships with self and others.

And whether the feelings around our first home are comfortable or complicated,

the idea is to become a home-maker.

The thought is to become a home within ourselves.

The understanding is that a home within becomes a place to hold others.

This type of home's entryway may ideally reflect the ideal hanging in my entryway:

"This home welcomes all, embraces each, supports everyone, and hopes that you find yourself better for having been here."

Ideal, as in an aim painted over and over with loving and learning.

Ideal, as in a shiny surface buffed repeatedly by apologies and forgiveness.

Ideal, as in teamwork, trials, tears, trust, and togetherness.

"Teamwork makes the dream work,” a sister reminds me. Together Each Achieves More.

Do you know your mother? We have to drill down deep.

“The best thing we can offer another person is our true presence.” [1]

Perhaps the more pressing question: Do you know the feeling of a mother's loving presence?

Did she hold you, physically and emotionally?

Can you hold you?

"If we can recognize and cradle suffering while we breathe mindfully, there is relief already.”[2]

Maybe more importantly: Do you know how your mother cradled suffering?

Did she hold and process her pain?

Do you hold and process her pain? Are you still?

Let's face it.

When our own mother-homes teach us ways to cradle suffering without self-harm, it's miraculous.

Often, we need to sign up to become a skilled apprentice of another Mother.

Let's own it.

When mother-homes hold love and presence within them, it's a solid start to our own home-making.

If these are missing from the floorboards, we need to start from the ground up.

The sign in Mexico. Do you know your Mother?

The image of Mary:

Mary, the teen mother protecting the body of Christ, risking her life to birth Love to the world.

Mary, the mama who hugs humanity, extending her arms to every one of us.

Mary, the giver of shape to the Trinity. (May we say Quadrality?)

Mary, the holy and wholly our Mother. (May we have a conversation with "Our Mother?"

Because we treasure "Our Father," but sometimes we just need to talk to Mom.)

Do you know your Mother?

We need to know.

Because becoming a home-maker means becoming a place of peace and love.

We have to know.

Because becoming a home-maker means holding space for hope and possibility.

We get to know by seeking.

There are Spirit-Mothers available to enlighten our in-look and outlook.

There are Spirit-Mothers accessible for summoning.

There are Spirit-Mothers around to give essential guidance in our home-making.

We get to know by seeing differently.

Whether Mother Nature or Mother Mary.

Whether figures from faith or from a broader wisdom tradition.

Whether the May of Springtime and new birth, or offering "Come What May…”

Do you know your mother?

Maybe start by singing.

Maybe sing this selection during your home-making, come what may...

The Womanly Song of God.[3]

I am the woman dancing the world

alive:

birds on my wrists

sun-feathers in my hair

I leap through hoops of atoms;

under my steps

plants burst into bloom

birches tremble in their silver.

Can you not see the roundness of me:

curve of the earth

maternal arms of the sea

encircling you wetly as you swim?

I am the birthing woman

kneeling by the river

heaving, pushing forth a sacred body

not mud, not stone: flesh and blood.

Round, round the wind

spinning itself wild

Drawing great circles of music

across the sky.

Round the gourd full of seeds

round the moon in its ripeness

round the door through which I come

stooping into your house.

I am a God of a thousand names:

why cannot one of them be

Woman Singing?

During this month of May, I especially thank God for my earthly Mama who has given me hope and courage to sing! She and my earthly Papa are the most beautiful reflections of the goodness of God.

[1] Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering [2] Ibid. [3] Wise Women: Over 2000 Years of Spiritual Writing by Women, edited by Susan Cahill: poet Catherine de Vinck, “The Womanly Song of God”