In and Out
- Maiya
- Jun 14
- 4 min read
by Maiya
In and Out.
Buzzing about in our lives, we like tidy equations, don't we?
Energy in = Energy out.
Input = Output.
Investment = Outward return or reward.
And it played out on a recent flight.
After boarding the airplane, our captain's voice echoed throughout the cabin:
"Before we take off, we need to address a few loose screws and hardware seen under the airplane.
We hope this will be only a short delay."
While there were the typical groans throughout the cabin, here it was: an In and Out equation.
What was supposed to go in? What came out? What happens next?
We may often feel like we have a few screws loose as we try to navigate interruptions, challenges,
and uncertainty in our days. And In and Out can be helpful for investigation.
Noticing what's "in" us matters, as it affects our "out"-ward everything.
It's a constant assessment for our own good.
But what if life's In and Out is more than meets the eye?
What are we missing by reducing to what we see (or what we think we see)?
Following the "in" rules of diet culture and feeling "out" of touch with our own bodies?
Placing all of our energy into work or a task and feeling "out" of connection with other parts of life?
Investing in one need but leaving out other needs?
Praying in earnest yet not seeing the desired outcome?
What's up with our what's-in?
Over-simplifying anything, from our food to our feelings,
from our resources to our relationships,
leaves little room.
For Mystery.
In and Out.
It's also the name of a west-coast burger chain, a family favorite.
It's a place of memories, of momentous decisions, and meals that always satisfy.
People enjoy getting in and out (and have been since 1948)!
And it was only in a quiet moment after a meal as I was folding my food wrapper, that I noticed:
John 3:16.
Prov 3:5
Rev 3:20.
Small scripture references appear on each of the food packages:
the burger wrapper, the milkshake cup, the fountain cup.
Mystery. A mark of faith in the family's business. Small and subtle, seen or unseen. Imprinted.
In and Out.
What about our own stories we think are imprinted upon us?
If this happened in my life, my outcome has to be...(!)
If that comes into my space, outrage...(!)
If he/she says or does this, look out...(!)
How do our outlooks, outbursts, and outward responses connect
with our influences, instilled values and internalizations?
The cognitive triangle is useful to see that In and Out relationships
exist in a triune tangle:
Inner work means understanding our implicit, our inner ingredients which affect
our actions, decisions, ways we treat others, and choices.
Implicit associations matter, because they are often greater predictors of our behavior
than our explicit (stated) beliefs and thoughts.
What do I think and believe? Where did these come from? What/whom do they serve?
What do I notice about how my feelings lead to (or result from) my thoughts and actions?
But leave room.
For mystery.
In and Out.
During a recent training in understanding the implicit biases within us, a stranger and I
were paired together in a classroom. The topic was to share a time when we felt excluded,
"othered," or on the out-side. Our task:
GIVE deep-listening for two minutes.
Full eye contact, no words and no interruptions. Undivided attention. And then,
RECEIVE deep-listening. Full eye-contact. No interruptions. Undivided attention.
The unexpected outcome?
A mysterious closeness and compassion.
Was it seeing someone's humanity and feeling one with them, seeing God in them?
Was it the feeling of truly being seen and accepted in that moment, feeling God inside?
Was it both?
We can be certain of this:
Getting into our own wrappers takes courage and vulnerability.
And letting someone witness the unfolding of our wrappers takes courage and vulnerability.
Do we do this with our Maker,
conversing about In and Out as a constant assessment OF our own good?
"A spark of divine light is within each of us." - Pope Francis
How do we embody that?
Implicit association tools like incomplete sentences can help us identify what's in us,
what we've written or received on our own wrappers, if we don't censor our responses.
My body____________________
God is______________________
People always _______________
My life ______________________
This individual _______________
Paired with the cognitive triangle, we may see what has been hidden.
Paired with mystery, we may see:
...we are (ALL!) God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do (outward) good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do. Eph 2:10
While at times the (good) outflow of our hearts may be hindered,
hurting,
or hidden,
still - we all are:
IMPRINTED in God's Image,
INVITED to internalize the real and inherent light within; and
INFUSED with God's goodness in order to outflow God's goodness.
In and Out.
Master-Creator to masterpiece.
Vine to branches.
Infinite Love to love for imperfect humans.
No matter how often we "intuitively" draw out our lines in the sand of separation,
Christ draws ever-expanding circles to include and inspire us.
Deep-looking sees this Mystery:
"Behold, the kingdom of God is in you." Luke 17:21
In and Out.
Because if we leave room for Mystery, we can...
Leave room for Mercy.
"The truth of the matter is this: if you're loving, you're healthy.
If you're healthy, you're loving. Despair, trauma and mental health issues
are illnesses needing healing, not punishment."
-Father Greg Boyle, Cherished Belonging
Leave room for Grace.
God is in Heaven. God is in you. God's heaven is you. - Jim Finley
Leave room for Wonder.
"Your image of God creates you." -Richard Rohr
Leave room for Reality.
Without Me you can do nothing. With Me, nothing will be impossible for you. John 15:15
It's already imprinted on our wrapper, and on theirs.
Divinity. Mystery. Miracle.
Do we see it?
Peace In.
Peace Out.
This is amazing. Insightful and relevant.🪻🐝 thank you so much for sharing this, Maiya!🪻🐝