Slow to Fast

by Maiya

"Is this the kind of fast I have chosen?" Isaiah 58:6

Does it ever feel puzzling-

how each attempt to slow down often results in an urge to go fast (or faster still)?

Maybe we slow to let our bodies heal, but if it takes "too long," we find ourselves racing through recovery.

Or we slow to take a break or a breath, and then we hurry, gasping to play catch-up for "lost time."

Or we slow down to appreciate the moment, then we speed up to make up for "wasted time."

What is this puzzling rush within us, drawing us to compensate?

What is this inherent internal and external pressure?

Is this a good thing-

a God-thing?

Slow to fast...

"Is this the kind of fast I have chosen?" Isaiah 58

Our 1000 piece puzzle sits on a mat on the family room floor.

The image of vibrant, intertwining succulents on the puzzle box

leans against a pillow,

our guide.

I'm eager to see it completed and hang it in a sunny room to enjoy -

but we've just begun to piece the border together,

the edge pieces giving some framework to the complex image.

Every piece requires a slowing, a sitting and a searching.

More often than not, I'll think I've found just the right piece:

the coloration, shape and size seemingly appropriate.

Attempting to quickly snap it into place -surely it will fit here-

finds me instantly humbled.

I have to slow

to acknowledge my limitations.

And unless I slow down to study the picture-guide,

I'm disoriented in my own guessing-game.

Slow to fast...

Oh, I know it, by knowledge and by experience: there is no "fast" with puzzles.

In fact, the idea of working on a puzzle is on purpose:

to slow us to mindfulness (!)

Yet what is the programmed rush-

of our puzzles and our days -

our puzzling days?

It can bring me to a much-needed halt when a season arises to prompt me to ask:

What

kind

of

"fast"

does

God

want

from

me?

There is indeed a fast He desires, and it could be challenging.

"Serve Him and hold fast to Him," Deut 13:4

So many things around us beckon us to cling, to rely upon them.

But releasing our grip to hang on to the Invisible?

"Hold fast to the Lord your God," Joshua 23:8

Earthly things, our ideas, even other humans -

these seem more available and accessible for holding.

But embracing the Un-nameable?

"I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord." Psalm 119:31

It's more comfortable to hold onto my conditioning,

my paradigm, my lived (yet limited) experience.

But grasping the Unknowable?

"...Your Right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:10 ".

It is puzzling to discern at times what is right,

the correct move, or the truth.

But being held by Unerring Truth?

Being cuddled by the Intangible?

If this "fast"

is a will-ing,

a holding

of us to God

and

of God to us,

are we willing

to have God hold our whole selves? (Yes, even those parts?)

"God made my life complete

when I placed all the pieces before Him."

Psalm 18:20 - The Message Bible

The many parts of my puzzling days and decisions

are multicolored, multifaceted puzzle pieces -

created intricately by a Master Creator.

If I'm willing,

I can spread them all before this Goodness, this God-ness-

who already knows anyway.

Goodness knows,

God knows Right-Side-Up even when I don't.

In time and trust,

I can turn over even the pieces, all of them-

even those,

especially those I'd rather ignore, hide or disown.

God has a place for all of them.

"God rewrote the text of my life

when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes."

Psalm 18:24 - The Message Bible

The many pages of our puzzling experiences

can be messy, nonsensical, and painful -

but the story has an Author,

the Alpha and Omega -

the beginning and the end.

If I'm willing,

I can open my pages, one by one, to those Loving Eyes -

to One Who already knows anyway.

This One prompts me to auto-correct to His Words to replace any un-truth in my own words-

to myself and to others.

His punctuation may contain many more semicolons than mine,

and He will always create better endings than I could imagine.

This is His Story, my history, our history.

Could

it

be

that

to

fast

is

to

slow

us?

Slowing ourselves,

will we also be willing to be cautioned?

"When you fast...wash your face,

so that it will not be obvious to (others) but only to your Father..." Matthew 6:17-18

Because this clinging of Love, oneself to God?

It's personal.

Each individual, each puzzle, unique.

Each word, each page, its own.

Each timeframe, by God's design.

Willingly, slowly,

our pieces and pages and all -

when opened honestly and vulnerably -

can reveal our holding patterns.

Is this the kind of fast He has chosen for us?